02.28.17: "Übermensch"

"Übermensch", the "last man", is an idea introduced by Nietzsche. The most misinterpreted philosopher in philosophy. 

Misinterpreted most of time due to the fact people take his written words literal. 

Nietzsche, therefore, carries the title as being the biggest misogynist out there. 

BUT...

He really just wrote in a cis white male privileged manner because that's what most of Europe's scholars consisted of and it's what caught most individuals attention. 

The significance of "Übermensch" was to speak upon achieving the best of yourself. Reaching the "last man", a horrible translation that triggered many citizens because of the "man" term usage. Yet, taking it in context of his writings. He talks about women's suffrage and their power of possessing the entitlement of reaching the "Übermensch".

"Well... what about Nietzsche and 'Übermensch'?"

"What does this have to do with your blogpost today?"

I had two realizations this past weekend:

1. My Gender and Sexuality professor, Loebs, is inspirational and amazing.
2. I need to acknowledge and embrace my mistakes. 

Striving for the better me will be a constant action and motive, acknowledging the mistakes I do will help me look for better opportunities. 

A subconscious critic of myself is a sense of acknowledgment and brushing it away is only radiating the fear I have for the future. 

The future scares me and the topic of the future is a triggering factor to my overthinking state. A state that I try not have so frequently since it can become discouraging to me.

Seeking for my "Übermensch" is my goal from now on.

Discouragement from myself and others will be apart of the external critic that I will acknowledge to improve myself. Not to take as a hurtful critic that maybe these individuals want me to do. Either their intention is to discourage me or hurt me, so the bad ideals of myself that I still have a hard time disregarding are welcomed back to my thoughts. 

It doesn't matter because I will not let anyones words hurt me. 

I will let these words improve me.

This past weekend, I tagged along with my best chica, Jess, on her geography field trip in the Sausalito area alongside the cliffs overlooking the bay area. A five minute drive outside the Golden Gate bridge. 

Walking, hiking, and standing outside on the magnificent hills covered with lush greens made me realize how I love nature. The view also made me realize how i'm going to miss the bay area (a little bit) and my best chicas. 

I am moving back home for school after this spring semester and starting my life in the suburbs all over again. 

Excited. 

Scared.

Life is wonderful and the emotions attached to life make me grateful for the steps I am taking in improving myself. Therefore, the trip with Jess's geography class soothe me in accepting the emotions of joy, and fear that are overwhelming right now as I start to think of the future without my friends. 

Just me, myself, and I. 

  - Karla Yeseñia López 

02.19.17 : Reflection.

"Flip the pillow 'til i'm fine

Pull the sheet over my head

Spend the next four years in bed"

M.A.D. - The Orwells 

I appreciate the composition of songs and the individuals that create the structure of a song. 

Don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to say that no one knows songs can have a meaning. 

Wow. 

Who would of thought?!

I just admire the people that compose a song. It takes great skill to even focus on an idea for a song since there is a vast amount of ideas that can be used to create a song. 

So...

Really, this is an indirect "Thank you" to The Orwells for having sweet jams in their new album, Terrible Human Beings. 

The actual purpose of writing a blog today is to reflect. 

Reflecting on past events that happen to us is a key element for learning. It helps hint at factors that you can work on to improve your overall character. 

The idea of just reflecting is a gateway to encouraging one self on personal goals, a pathway to success.

Right now, I have time to focus on myself. Work on my strengths and weaknesses or discover some of them. 

Honestly. 

I am happy.

I haven't been happy for a long time, life was rough to me these past few months. 

Not to long ago, I was severely depressed and suicidal. 

It's hard to explain or describe the emotions that are tied to these confusing, unwanted mental thoughts. These thoughts that consume your life with no reason. They happen and sometimes there isn't an answer, even if you try to find a reason.

I remember not going out or canceling plans because dark thoughts would dominate my head. Laying there in bed for a full day without doing anything but just in thought. Killing my emotional state without even wanting to. I would try to dress myself and even walk for a bit but somehow I would end up in bed crying.

It is hard. 

It is annoying.

It is stressful. 

The only thing you can do during this dreadful time is be patient. Not try to google medication to consume so somehow this mental stage disappears from one day to another. Trust me, I did that and now I have unnecessary medication laying around. 

I decided to compose a list of all the things I want to do this year, key factors that I want improve in: 

• travel the states and document (it)
• get something published
• network... networkk..
• learn about myself
• focus on talking about emotions 

I took these low light photos so I can practice on light reflection.

   - Karla Yeseñia López

02.16.17 : Surf Curse ft Robert Tilden

Surf Curse ft Robert Tilden at SF STATE The Depot.

Thursday, February 16, 2017 

   - Karla Yeseñia López

02.14.17 : Pleasure & the intellect.

Pleasure is a feeling that can affect emotion. A wave of pleasure that can influence an individuals actions. 

Examples of pleasures individuals' possess range from BDSM, having multiple partners, preferring a gender over another, or strict "penetration only" relationships. 

Institutionally, these pleasures or pleasures that fall out of the heteronormativity can be look down upon because of the man made concept of morality. 

Heteronormativity signifies the act of having two binary sexes act upon socially acceptable sexual behaviors. Following binary rules that a "female" or "male" should act up on. 

These internalized "job tasks" can be seen throughout the contexts of ancient texts on topics of love. 

Recently, I have been reading up on various philosophers which challenge or reinforce these ideals. 

A quote in particular that stood out to me is one that is shared by the Philosopher Leopold Masoch. 

They challenge the idea of religious influence on individuals, their obsession to obtaining the ideal relationship. A relationship that fits a heteronormative structure (two individuals of the opposite sex).

Yet, Masoch switches the dominating and recessive figures. Contradicting the binary: Male- dominating/active, and female - recessive/passive. 

Masoch uses a goddess figure, Venus in Furs, to show the superiority of women possessing in a relationship. He also introduces a weakened, idiotic character of a male: Severin. 

Religion is sarcastically praised for his argument of morality: 

"The  inventors of the Christian marriage have done well, simultaneously to invent immortality". 

An ironic twist to religion bringing morality which is praised by society to be the way of living. When religion in Masoch's view introduces the restriction of an individuals own pleasures. 

Religion creates rules which influence individuals to be afraid of expressing their pleasures through the encouragement of matrimony.




Despite, religion being the main argument Masoch speaks of, we can not dismiss the other influences that internalize the idea of heteronormativity as mentioned before. 



These texts of love and the idea of heteronormativity have eased me through a recent breakup with a partner of mine.

My reaction to the ending of the romantic relationship has been dramatic, mainly because of emotions. The pleasure of having someone providing me with endless mushy emotions is the trigger to all actions i've taken in easing my emotions out. 

I do frown upon the wording i've used in addressing my past partner about the whole situation. Although it's always been the way I take in the news about break ups. 

Needless to say, time can only heal wounds. Over time, the friendship that we both held may or may not be regained. Until then, I can say that i'm learning to not question another's emotion or stance. 

It's always a learning process for me (break ups) and has made me realize that the time to learn about myself has came. To take initiative in learning what my pleasures are or if having a partner is actually what I seek.

Do I want a partner simply because it has been taught to me growing up that every individual needs to have a partner by their side for the rest of their life?

Or

If I do find a partner in the future, is it just for my pleasure of seeking security? 


Pleasure is complex and I don't quite understand the fondness of it.

I for sure know that I am deeply sorry for being rude towards a good friend of mine.

Sorry.


(The pictures are for post decoration and an encouraging reminder to practice on my photography) 

   - Karla Yeseñia López

02.07.17 : Crying baby meltdown.

Children are cool sometimes. 

These 'rascals' provide a joy to us old farts when we are consumed by life issues. Deep in our stresses over bills, heart breaks, laundry, and food. 

One little gesture or hug by a child gives you, can take away the every day stresses for just a split second. 

Yet, they can provide the horrendous tantrums that make you question:

"Why did I wake up this morning?"

"Why am I here?" 

or my favorite of them all: 

"Is it possible for them to just... SHUT UP?!"

Obviously, these questions remain just in thought. Unless you are a savage individual that doesn't mind getting a blank look from the wide eyed alien looking specks. 

Just thinking about the daunting look they give as a sign of a waving white flag/apology. Gets me an awe? It's interesting how much power they have as individuals when they don't even know the difference between "you're" or "your". 

I mean even certain grown ups can't tell the difference between the modified "you's". 

Grammar is tricky. I don't blame y'all.

My point is that, kids just don't get the whole grammar function or the function of decision making at an adult life scale. Yet, they can manipulate someone with a daunt look.

M I N D B L O W I N G. 

I work with children.

Children from six months to 2-year olds.

The group most fascinating to me is infants, mainly because I work one on one with them. They can cry for hours and still have vocal chords to cry for several more.

Honestly, singers or any vocal artist should take notes because they hold the power of maintaining their vocals in shape. 

The other day I had the luck of having an infant cry bloody murder for three hours out of my five hour work shift. 

My co-workers tried their best to assist me with the child and my sanity.

To my dismay, the child wasn't complying to anything or anyone and as for my sanity. It was at its peak for a sudden meltdown. 

I knew from then that there was no turning back from having a great day.

To allow myself the relief of finishing a dreadful shift. I let some tears out when I walked out of the day care building and made a playlist to commemorate the stressful day.

Yes, playlists make me feel soooo great and I love to share music with people. 

It's an awesome way to know someone and communicate.

Therefore, I have decided to share the Crying Babies Meltdown playlist with y'all. 

Moral of the story: If you are having a shitty day, make a playlist and share it with someone.

(You can follow me on Spotify fyi. I won't be weirded out or anything.) 

                                                              
                                                                   - Karla Yeseñia López