06.02.17: frustration

Here on this friday night, I find myself at the local coffee shop filled with frustration. 

A frustration of why i'm starting to become dependent on others for joy or entertainment in general. 

I reach out to people in doing the simplest tasks, going to get coffee, when I can actually do that myself.

I can get myself a cup of coffee, and go on my laptop to self loathe on other people's lives via social media.

I mean.

Isn't that what social media was created for? 

For people who don't have physical company to have a sense of somebody by simply looking at an Instagram story?

Social media in general was created to boost an individuals ego to reinforce an objective person everyone wants to be. Individuals showing others what they don't have by glamorizing their own lives.





What does it mean to be an "I" anyways?

Am "I" really the person "I" am? 


The other day, I read an article(which I forgot the link to, smh) of middle schoolers facing the issue of self identity. These pubescent bodies facing intense emotions of questioning who they are, which makes most of them try new actions. 

The article mentioned the fact of middle schoolers having the highest rate in drug usage, and sexual interaction. 

I mean, it makes sense why young adults are facing this issue but really if you think about it. We all face this issue of "self-identity" throughout our whole lives. 

Every day, we begin to intake new knowledge of things, and become aware of new actions/desires.

So, this "self-identity" issue isn't just an occurrence within a specific age group. It's only focused on an age group because everyone sees a statistic associated with adolescents. 

Obviously, you need to look out for the children because everything is for the children.

The schools are for the children, entertainment like t.v shows are for the children, new infrastructure is for the children because they will all procreate as well and their children will see the future, and so on, which continues the cycle of maintaining human kind. 

Screw the adults then when it comes to talking about their self-doubt to everyone, they can figure things out because they are: 

mature,

have experienced life already,

need to manage things by themselves,

and should know a sense of direction.

Honestly, this cynical view has been a habit of mine. 

It's confusing me. 

I don't know if my current views on everything is what I am as a person? 

Have I been suppressing my thoughts that are seen as cynical to others because they are unpopular, and will be tackled down?

- Karla Yeseñia López